2016
Today, ‘we’ are constantly busy, feeling as if there is no time for anything anymore. We have school; dentist appointments; meetings; work; meal preps; sleep; gym; kids…we’re running on coffee (or caffeinated drinks) just to stay awake for it “all”. You feel rushed and then stressed because you spread yourself thin- now you will wake up and do it all over again.
I’ve always been driven and persistent for anything I want in my life. This drive drove me to be “busy” and constantly grinding to reach my goal (now I follow my intuition and “see” my future, rather than set goals. I will talk about this in another post). I can’t tell you when the lightbulb finally turned on for me, but I realized I spent no time with myself.
After alone time, I was able to tune into how and why I felt any emotion: overwhelmed, stressed, depressed, etc. After quality time with myself (nature walks, grounding, biking, going to the beach…), I was able to really dig into what was causing those negative triggers (by writing a lot) in my life- I cut out whatever it was that caused me that unnecessary pain. Now, I’m not saying, “do this and everything will be great forever”. You will have your ups and downs, but after putting in self-time and you reach that “down” feeling again (negative emotions, stressed…), you are able to bounce back (to a positive state of mind) more quickly.
“I’ve come to believe that the habit of taking time to be with oneself and pay simple attention to whats going on in your mind and body can be a powerful way to come to understand your emotions better, and to ride and regulate them.” - Barry Boyce
One of the triggers for me was commuting. I was driving from Venice to West Hollywood, five days a week (almost 3.5 to 4 hours out of my day!!!…!!! (because of traffic, if you’re unfamiliar with LA traffic). I have people close to me addicted to pharmaceutical drugs; I also had two uncles die a year a part from each other- “that wasn’t supposed to happen.” I’m now experiencing events that are out of my control, which in turn will play a role on my emotional behavior. Those events forced me to find a positive state of mind and dig deeper into meditation (I’m still learning about it all). I’m still learning about mindfulness or aiming to be more focused, which helps me give 100 percent into whatever it is I’m doing at that present moment/time.
Mindfulness - maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment.
“Mindfulness does not impart a magical sate of perfection. Life is unendingly unpredictable, and imperfection in the norm. How we live with these facts determines our moment-to-moment well-being, said Mark Bertin, M.D., in his article, Living with, and loving, your imperfect life. When aware of what we’re doing instead of skating through life on autopilot, we have a whole lot easier time managing. Without effort and attention, our lives may otherwise follow the same old mental ruts, for better or worse, day after day.”
“In our lives, things always go wrong. None of us have perfect lives,” says Sean Meshorer, author of The Bliss Experiment. Now I except and embrace my imperfect life. I don’t get upset if I don’t get ‘the agency I wanted’ or “beat myself up” if I couldn’t get a blog post up one week. I think we all expect so much from ourselves leading to perfectionism.
I believe we need to move past perfectionism and love your imperfect life just the way it is. Right now or whenever you have those feelings of stress; anxiety; personal problems; etc., I suggest that you allow time to yourself (1/2 hour per day or 3 times a week) to start. You can actually accomplish and love more, when you allow yourself this alone time. Personal time, I found is to be very important to maintain a healthy lifestyle, a healthy you, and a healthy state of mind.
Huffington Post states ‘8 reasons why spending time alone is actually really good for you’:
1. You’ll have just as much fun.
2. Being alone will make you more creative ...
3. .. And probably make you work harder.
4. If you’re an introvert, alone time is key to your happiness.
5. Taking on activities on your own can help you meet new people.
6. Spending time alone can help with depression, especially in teens
7. It helps clear your mind.
8. You get to do what you actually want to do.
So, make sure your happiness is priority even if your day to day is chaotic- have fun with the chaos, no need to get mad about the craziness! Go hit a yoga class, lay in the grass, call up your best friend, go for a walk, take a day trip somewhere…enjoy and embrace your imperfect life. We are here to ENJOY every single day, that’s our purpose if you ask me…and maybe Alan Watts. :)
“This is the real secret of Life- to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is PLAY.” - Alan Watts