2019
Expectations- A belief that someone will or should achieve something.
Examples:
‘Students had high expectations for their future’
‘Reality had not lived up to expectations’
The expectation to uphold who I was in the past, became my identity. That expectation was upheld, not by me, but by others who were blamelessly a part of my life. I could have went on “living” my whole existence not even recognizing that others constructed these expectations of me. Subconsciously, ‘they’ don’t even know they had constructed ‘such a thing’ for me, but at the end of the day, it’s only Me who is responsible for my past, present, and future- not them.
Seeking what you want and taking whatever time and space you need to just “find” You, and all “those things” that make you happy…takes a risk; a risk of going against the grain, of what you know, and against what other people want from you or/and what people may think of you. Will you do what others expect of you (because that possibly makes them feel more comfortable) or will you do whatever it is that you expect of yourself?
‘Life Itself’ (literally speaking- not the movie), is all about experiences and change(s)…this does include the people in It, too. '“Finding our way” is what This (life) is all about, anyhow, isn’t it? When a person changes, but has ‘these’ expectations “hanging over their head”, it’s difficult to even know what You want and who you are or could become (other than what you’ve known already). We want an outcome instantaneously, for example: our ‘Careers’ to happen as fast as the McDonalds Drive-Thru: we live in a generation hungry for instant gratification.
We want to see results as fast as possible and sometimes it’s not even for ourselves, but for others (Instagram for example), even if that means sacrificing your happiness and authenticity.
With a misunderstanding of who we are and what we want, we then care most what people think of who we are and what we do/pursue. The only person who should actually give a D*** is You, regarding anything that has to do with you and your life. Do It for You, knowing that it’s For You, and not for Them. We may already know what we want, but become afraid and thus conform to societal norms of what we know.
So, what if we do give ourselves a chance? Will it all go wrong? Would if you take the chance and do things differently; struggle for a “dream”, for instance, and It never even comes into fruition. Having answers and an expected outcome feels so good (I assume)- less “depressing” than times of not even knowing and jumping off the deep end, followed by negative self talk, and feeling lost. But so what…there is absolutely no right answer in how to live life, how fast you “get there”, or how it’s supposed to be. Creating ‘something’ for yourself is a journey of many unexpected emotional tones. You feel things, and ‘it all’ becomes this battle within yourself that metamorphose into a sense of relief; the relief that at least you’re giving yourself a chance to know the good, bad, and ugly of all that you’re actually made of…and there’s something dangerously beautiful about that.
You’re trying. You’re trying to do what You want- that comes with the pain of going against those societal norms and the background people (the naysayers). You may even experience a feeling of loneliness that becomes overwhelmingly painful. You have no idea when you’ll get back that feeling of comfortability and stability.
But
When you create your own expectations, in return you will receive your own version of “Reality”, and so it could be, that “Reality” may not be all that bad, after all.