2016
I want to talk firstly, about loving yourself. You need to love yourself and accept all of your flaws (and start loving those as well), if you want to be a better you and make other changes. I'm also making this the first post, because until I started loving myself, I found relationships and my vision (aspirations/dreams) come alive. I was so hard on myself and compared myself to others constantly. You hear that we are our own worst enemy- this is what we need to attack and get rid of. We are all beautiful and have so many skills to share with one another. It's all in our head- the perceptions we have of ourselves. See the beauty in others (as well as nature/everything surrounding you) and you will see the beauty in yourself! Strangely or coincidently, as this was my first topic in mind, I pass by a magazine called the Well Being Journal on Self Love. Boom. Stephen Sinatra, writer of "Prescription for Self Love," said everything to the "T." He wrote exactly what I needed to read, for all those times I was in doubt. I will quote directly from him and pass his words onto you.
As you love, you have a higher vibration and attract more love into your life. You are filled with the natural positive energy that generates well-being, wholeness, vitality, and connection. When you love yourself, you can create healthy, balanced relationships with everyone in your life. My training in psychotherapy taught me that self-love develops and evolves from the moment we are born and begins to crystalize in childhood. Unconditional love- which is based on acceptance of a person for who he or she is, not what he or she does- is a key ingredient in the development of self-love in a child. To develop self-love:
1. Begin by forgiving yourself for the ways in which you have rejected or otherwise harmed yourself- by eating too much, drinking too much, becoming addicted to drugs or vices, and so forth.
I used to go out and drink at least 3-4 days a week in college and almost every weekend out of college. I thought nothing of it because "hey, I'm young and just having fun." I learned that I used drinking to "let go" of my problems and frustration of where I was in my life. I journal now about everything (my day; goals; frustrations; what I need to work on; etc) instead of grabbing a drink. I forgive myself in the way I used to treat myself and my body. Now I treat my body like a temple, because our bodies are temples!
2. Make a list of what you believe are your best qualities and put the list where you can see it every day, perhaps by your bed or on a mirror. Add to the list as you discover new things that you like and appreciate about yourself. Be proud of these qualities. Honor your life as a gift. When you honor yourself, you are honoring life.
After reading this, I will put a list by my bedside. I journal qualities I like about myself. Before journaling about myself, I felt so wrong about it. Talking about how great you are? "Wow do I think I'm the greatest or what?" No. It's very important to talk about all of your qualities because we are all different- each of us radiates different energy and character. If you don't recognize that, you will focus on all the things you "need to become" or change or be better at. You need to see your greatness!
3. We must change the way we think about ourselves; doing so helps build and reinforce self-love. Begin by monitoring and regulating your thoughts. Practice not voicing or agreeing with any thoughts about yourself that you would not direct toward someone you love or respect...Treat yourself as you would your best friend, and think about how you can actively develop qualities that you want in a friend, such as honesty, loyalty, warmth, and affection. We know now that negative emotions not only blind you to the beauty of the world you live in but can actually lead to illness and disease.
I have started to journal "I am beautiful." Writing this in the beginning felt completely corny. I didn't know why I felt this way and realized I actually wasn't as confident as I thought I was. I have been working the same two jobs for over a year now. Why? Because I simply have not put myself out there. I believed other people around me could do "it" better. "This person is skinnier, taller, and prettier than me. They "deserve" to be more successful. I don't have a resume that's very qualified for the position. I won't get it, over the person who just ..." As some of you have seen, I now am changing my lifestyle a 180 and putting myself out there. As I was bio-hacking and learning about nutrition I was still thinking negatively about myself. Sounds backwards, but I think it's from not forgiving myself enough for my past habits. Those negative emotions I felt about myself drained my energy and made me unhappy, even when I would be having an amazing day. Please, always talk nicely to yourself and journal about your qualities.
4. Adopt other self-love practices, for example start an exercise program. Physical activity will help you understand self-love not just as an idea but as an action.
I used to be a runner. I've always been active, but stopped being the active person I was towards the end of college and after. Now I find that no matter how busy I am, I NEED to get something active in my day. Being active everyday makes me an all around better person. I become more productive, happier about myself, I feel strong and in control of my own life. I started up yoga about 6 months ago and I'm completely in love. It's mind and body connection flow that works for me. When I do have more leisure time I want to try so many more new active activities like ballet and boxing. Find something active YOU enjoy and do it everyday, even if it's 10 min. DO IT!
5. You can also practice self-love by doing nice things for your physical body: getting enough sleep, indulging in a massage,or changing your hairstyle. These actions may seem simple, but they are actions that reinforce how much you value yourself.
I thought that just being active was caring for myself. I thought that everything else was selfish and I never made the time to tend to myself. Now I make sure I get atleast 7/8 hours of sleep a day and hot the spa when I can. Now that this is on the list, I think I'm going to get a massage this week!
All of your relationships are affected by how you feel about yourself. Having a clear identity, maintaining a healthy self-esteem and confidence, and knowing the gifts and talents that make you unique allow you to attract and create relationships that are balanced and whole. Love heals both us and those to whom we give love. It assures our connection to the world outside of ourselves. It affirms our role in the bigger picture- that what we say and do matters and that our contributions count.
Making this first blog post was the first step for me in showing self love and confidence. I will not fear what others think and continue on my journey in doing what I enjoy. I hope this topic was beneficial to you and if you have had/have doubts and fears, you can work to become the organic you that you were born to be. I am not cheesy :)