2017
Lately, I’ve been soul searching because of internal unhappiness that would unexpectedly “hit” me. I stopped the blog as I knew I still had work to do on myself. I wanted to dig deep into how our minds operate and why we deny ourselves the luxury of living the life we truly want. Why we settle for what “we think we deserve”. Truth is everyone “deserves” what they want in life- it’s turning off/letting go of the negative influences and mental talk that truly influences your decision making (“my dad would be disappointed if I did become and artist” or “I’m not as smart as Elon Musk to invent the next eco-friendly car). Truth is, everybody is intelligent- we were born humans after all, so don’t let anybody tell you you’re not smart.
Each person is intelligent in a particular area and thats where you need to focus on enhance that skill set. We all have different values as well, so don’t feel bad if you are not interested or great at something that someone else is. For example: some gain motivation and persistence by seminars and reading while others prefer to use music as their motivation. Again, don’t feel bad because what may work for ‘them’ will not work for you, trust that. I believe you need to find what it is exactly that gets you motivated and then you will feel the constant drive to act upon what it is you want in your life.
How can you seriously have exactly what you want? That is the ultimate question because as you work on manifestation to “become the next John Mayer” you see yourself as, you learn to use your inner-SELF and not your brain. You trust your higher self and stop thinking; the thinking where your brain creates fuc**** crazy thoughts and then you start believing them. I came to a point where it was counterintuitive to find myself getting “depressed” on researching and doing the same thing, day in and day out.
I know myself well enough to know I need to go “run around” and have fun to clear my head and stay motivated (this is my way of staying driven and true to myself rather than telling/lying to myself saying, “I should be doing this”). So, my point is, don’t trust most everything your brain is telling you- your brain is the real life devil living in your head. Napoleon Hill says, “Hell or the devil does not exist after life, its life right here on earth, living in our minds and thoughts.” Here’s what is happening: your brain is only there to help you survive, but not to live. According to an article in Psychology Today by Gregg Henriques, there are three of you (haha, honestly): the experiential self, the private self-consciousness system, and the public self or persona. Be aware of these three selves as well as your gut instincts and intuition when making decisions for yourself. If your brain is talking, let it, but you don’t have to listen to what it’s saying to you (if it’s full of self-doubt talk, for instance).
Experiential Self: This is the part of you that “disappears” when you enter a deep sleep, flickers on and off as you dream, and then comes back on line as you wake up. It also relates deeply to your core drives/needs and emotionally organized feeling states. This level of self is a mental capacity we share with other animals, and it presumably forever disappears when we die (at least from a naturalistic perspective).
Private Self-Consciousness: We can call this the “narrator” (or interpreter), because is the portion of your being that verbally narrates what is happening and why and tries to make sense of what is going on. It is also the part that includes your reportable self-concept and explicit beliefs and values about the way the world works (e.g., your religous and political beliefs).
Public-Self: It refers to the public image that you attempt to project others, which in turn interacts with how other people actually see you.
“Properly speaking, a man has as many social selves as there are individuals who recognize him and carry an image of him in their head.” - William James
I was “stuck” for about two years as I was being influenced by others on what I should do or what they thought I would be good at. I listened to “them”, trusting what they said about me instead of trusting myself and listening to my intuition on what I actually wanted. Each person knows to the core what they actually want to do, be it a great mom or an astronaut, but the percentage of people that actually do what they want to do is small. “…The study found that close to 80 percent — 78.06 percent, to be exact — of adults don't end up following through on the career path of their six-year-old imaginations,” says Stephanie Walden in a recent study on Mashable.
When I went to Dr. DeMartini’s seminar, he talked about a mom feeling like she should be doing more when what she truly wanted to be was a great mom and thats it. She had those feelings of needing to do more because of people around her influencing her instead of remaining true to what she really desired. “If you have ever been surprised by how you acted, or felt confused, conflicted, or uncertain about who you truly are, or realized how dramatically different you feel in different situations or in different moods, then you know that this thing we call the ‘self’ can have many different and often competing facets and states—and if you haven’t had this experience, then you probably have not been paying too much attention!,” says Henriques.
All this leads me to the wonderful State of Flow that will bring you to places you wouldn’t imagine- moreover, where you’ve only imagined. From a YouTube video speech by Vishen Lakhiani at Mindvally Academy, called the ‘Theory of Awesomeness’ (provided below), Vishen talks about four states of mind:
1. Negative Spiral: no happiness and no vision for the future
2. Current Reality Trap: you don’t really know how you’re going to grow…”this should be great, but I don’t think it is.” Happiness and fulfillment are two completely different things.
If you are not growing, you’re doing a disservice to your mission and to the world. Dream big, play big, and push your boundaries. By letting your light shine, you grant permission for others to do the same.
3. Stress and Anxiety: Where you have a vision for the future; you’re just not happy yet. Happiness becomes this elusive thing that ahead of you, and not with you right now.
4. State of Flow: Your happiness and your vision are completely separate. Your happiness comes from the journey, not the destination.
The Flow State: A Mental state of mind in which you are pulled forward by big goals, yet happy where you are now. It creates a feeling of growth and a feeling of being lucky.
…almost feels as if the universe has your back
…feels as if you can bend reality
…as if you have conscious control of luck
Lakhiani continues, stating that “your happiness is not tied to your vision. The right coincidences, opportunities, and synchronicities…fall on your lap. Even if you do have down time you bounce back really quickly. All of us are going to have our ups and downs (not always in a flow state). The goal is to expand the amount of time you’re having an up and reduce the amount of time you’re having a down. Expand the ups, and reduce the downs. So when you go down, you bounce back up really quickly.
You know what you want, so go out there and get it. If that means cutting people and places out of your life (that you know are not beneficial to your progression) to be happy and achieve what you want, then do it. Ask yourself what you truly want more than anything- listening to what you want to do will actually lead to your individual success because it’s exactly what you want to do and “the right coincidences, opportunities, and synchronicities will fall on your lap.” Have a goal and work towards it daily while maintaining a State of Flow. Don’t forget to enjoy the “journey” along the way to your destination or end goal.